[Quote][“Spotlight]

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Quote – “Spotlight”

“Being sick, being ill, being in pain; they have a certain spotlight on themselves. They put a spotlight on the person or people you know, especially when it comes to friends, family, and coworkers. You have empathy for them; you feel bad that they are going through what they are. You go out of your way to make sure they’re alright and check on them the following days.

But then something strange happens. When something happens with you, no one seems to notice, or worse, seems to care. Even that person you did your due diligence to care after seems preoccupied with trivial things. Are you suddenly not important, or were you never? Would it then just be better to lie and say everything is fine when you’re really not? Should you stop worrying over someone who becomes ill around you or has a reoccurrence of something they’ve always had?

I want to say ‘yes, put the spotlight back on them. What I don’t know though, is if it’s because it’s the nice thing to do or because when you fall more ill, they’ll feel terrible for not paying you more attention.”

I love my sister, I really do… but sometimes I wished she would take better care of herself. Well, I wish that all the time, but not always for her own benefit. When I’m in a lot of pain, like I am right now, there always seems to be something wrong with her. Can I not, for once, be the one who can be taken care of?

Thank goodness I have a boyfriend (Simon) who actually give a damn. Otherwise, I would be going through this on my own… yet again.

[Quote][‘Time is a healer…’]

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“People keep saying that time is a great healer. It can be, sometimes. But it’s also a real bastard. Time only heals when your mind has something to occupy it. Without something to distract you, time degrades you, brings you down. It makes everything ten times worse.”

[Quote – “Nothing more than…”]

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             “You want nothing more than to make them proud of you. You want nothing more than to make them smile when you bring them news. You want nothing more than to bring them peace. To not worry, to be happy, to bring ease to their minds. You want nothing more than to make your parents love you.”

[Quote][“The monster under the bed…”]

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Quote – “The monster under the bed.”

“Trying to live up to expectations is one thing. It can be slain with your own motivation and hard work.

Trying to live up to someone else’s expectations is like confronting a beast. It’s not impossible, t just takes more work and knowing you may fail.

Trying to live up to a parent’s expectations is next to impossible. It’s the monster under the bed, the boogeyman in the closet. Every time you think you have defeated the monster and it’s vanquished for good, it reappears, fiercer than before.”

[Quote][Twice as Fast]

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Quote – Twice as Fast

“Does the heart have to beat twice as fast, when it is twice as full as it should be? To love, to have love, for two instead of the ideal one, is it wrong? If they both care, then the answer is simple: yes. If neither cares, then the answer is simple: yes. If one cares and one doesn’t, then everything becomes enticingly complicated. Do you stand firm with the one who cares or indulge in the one who doesn’t, and risk your heart beating twice as slow?

Would, could, my heart then stop and cease to beat at all eventually for another?

Would that be so bad?”

[Quote][The Feeling of Renewal]

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“The feeling of renewal is refreshing to the soul. Renewal can be felt in the small things too. Change your regular eye shadow colour, change the scent of your cologne, allow yourself to be seen in a different way. Let yourself grow with new discovery.”