Suicide Prevention Day


I find I have to agree… I have a very precious friend who battles depression and the weight of mental illness but he knows he can count on me to help in whatever way I can, even if it’s just having a talk with him. I always wish I could do more though, I wish I knew what more I could do for him when he tells me the system designed to help him fails. These ‘professionals’ who have gone to school, earned degrees, and are paid to help, do not seem to understand what their patients need from them. Some expect just talking to solve everything, where some think popping a pill or two will accomplish the same thing. Truth is neither, both, or nothing at doesn’t work for everyone and is hardly ever a complete fix.

I grapple with my own anxiety and possible depression, and I find talking extremely difficult, even with the closest people I know I can trust. I don’t think meds would help either (but I do have an aversion from medications of most kinds). But, my issues will always be at a standstill because… I don’t feel comfortable talking to my doctor about my concerns.

Until our doctors become approachable in the ways their patients need… Striving to stay alive only hurts us more before we can see our pain ending.

Another Hope Entirely

To be perfectly honest, I dread and resent this day.  I know that’s a very unpopular opinion, but I’m not sorry.  I just can’t embrace it and write a tearjerker post about my close calls with suicide and how glad I am that I didn’t succeed.

I’m not glad I didn’t succeed.  I’m not actively suicidal right now, but my life is difficult and painful every day.  If any one of my suicide attempts had succeeded, I wouldn’t have to drag myself through that every day.  I wouldn’t have to worry about whether I can find a doctor who will give me medication to manage my chronic pain.  I wouldn’t have to worry about becoming homeless because my disability check isn’t enough for anyone to survive on.  I wouldn’t have to worry about how to get therapy when no one thinks I need help.  I wouldn’t have to worry about…

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